I stayed up late last night trying to eke out some time out of a busy day to pull on all the kigurumi gear and do a video. I decided that I should start using the full hadatai instead of just the torso one, and even though it takes a bit longer for me to zip myself into it and even though it’s a little hotter, I think I’m okay with the overheating issue, mostly. I spend a lot of my day in front of a hot pizza oven, so I think I’ve built up a tolerance for heat. It’s still uncomfortable, but I haven’t gotten dizzy or nauseous from it. yet.

Also I did get a migraine aura about a couple of hours before I had planned to kig, but i think putting on the blorbo suit actually helped me feel better and fight off the general badness i feel during a migraine attack. Though, over the past decade or so, my migraines have gotten less frequent and less intense. It’s as if they’re giving me a respite as a reward for making it to menopause (but then my lower back decided to herniate itself this year so…trade-offs). The headache wasn’t bad enough for me to get into bed, and I managed to take video for nearly a half an hour in the cosplay.

I still really love becoming Anime Boi. It’s one of my life’s greatest pleasures right now, though I guess it’s a commentary on how desperate I am to excape my mundane life and this ridiculous current America that I’m forced to exist in. As a POC, I worry that I won’t survive this current administration, but I damn well will exist in it as an anime boi sometimes just so i can feel something other than despair. Overdramatic? Sure. Cringe? Definitely. Free? You bet.

And who am I doing it for? Myself, mostly. I’m still surprised and amazed that some other folks enjoy pictures of me in my dumb blorbo suits. It’s kind of like the icing on the cake. At this rate, I don’t know if I want to be a part of the community at large. They all seem at least a generation or 2 younger than me, and I don’t put out my actual age unless someone specifically asks. And again, I’m coy about it. I’ve given the “I’m only a few years younger than Green Day” answer multiple times and that seems to surprise people. Whatever.

I know there will come a day when I won’t be able to do such things anymore, so I’m trying to enjoy myself as much as I can. I think the back thing was a wake-up call, along with the infection scare/hospital stay I had last year. I’m taking time to be selfish, after so many years of being the dutiful, obedient daughter. It’s fucking fantastic.