was minding my own business watching Beef on Netflix when suddenly there’s a scene where wayward and directionless Danny Cho (played by Steven Yeun) ends up at a church service and bursts into fucking tears and I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ATTACKED IN MY LIFE because I also experienced this exact thing when I was visiting my mom in Hawaii
She started going to this evangelical church affiliated with some mainland megachurch and she insisted i go to Sunday service with her and I (dutiful daughter) said yes. My brain was all over the place that morning. I was exhausted and my body never quite recovered from my jet lag. It was my last full day in Hawaii and I’d wanted to go to the beach on that Sunday but my mom wanted me to accompany her to church. Being the dutiful daughter, I said yes.
The combination of sleep deprivation, familial obligation, and the bizarre sense of belonging/not belonging made me break into tears. I was lonely but I only wanted to be left alone. I was exhausted. I was frustrated. I cried and the tears were misinterpreted by the pastor (again, similar to what Danny experienced in the show).
I stopped watching Beef for now because it was hitting way too close to home. I’ll probably pick it up later.