i wanna take you to a wasteland i’d like to call my home

i wanna take you to a wasteland i’d like to call my home

Well, today at work sucked to epic proportions. For context, we usually have 3-4 people working the front, and today was only me and one other person until around 2 hours into my shift and I sort of hated it. It was also hilarious because I’d just gotten the good news that our department was actually the highest performing one in the region according to the metrics that the ocmpany has been using. It’s great. Everything is going forward as planned. But we have no people to work the front so i was exhausted and it wasn’t even half-way through my shift.

Like…it’s shit like this that makes me kind of not want to work. Not even working there, but I just don’t want to work. Period. I hate living in late-stage capitalism. I hate that health insurance in the US is tied into having a job. I hate having to deal with and be beholden to other people for money. It just sucks. And I know this is a stupid take but it’s absolutely true. I enjoy the things that money allows me to get of course but i just hate having to actively slowly kill myself in order to enjoy myself.

I hope tomorrow will be better but I don’t think so. And I know I could just as soon quit but i really don’t want to have to go through the stupidity of finding another job unless I absolutely have to. I’m just too tired and old to deal with it all. And now I will have to put on a brave face and not be so depressed and keep on going. Because the alternative is beyond stupid. But the state of the country is so poor, I’m just waiting for the day I get taken away somewhere. I can’t believe America is like that now. That if you’re not a rich white man, you might get punished for not being a rich white man. So I’m expecting that I will suffer even more in the next four years. But whatever. my heart has hardened to the point that I cannot be bothered. I will try to fight, but if not, then I will welcome death because sometimes this life is just so damn hard.

Welcome to my problems; it’s not an invitation

Welcome to my problems; it’s not an invitation

  • cold mornings delight me because i tend to sleep better during them. My regular sleeping hours are usually 1:30am to 9am, but this morning i slept in until nearly 10. What’s weird is that I don’t relaly sleep in on my weekends. I suppose because i would just like to spend my weekends awake and not having to go to work.
  • i haven’t suited up in kigurumi in a while. I think I’m just too tired to gather it all up and then climb into the suit, but then again i don’t have a reason to kig right now. i don’t have anything to show off. I’m waiting on new cosplay outfits but they won’t arrive for quite a while. Also they’re coming in from China so I’m really curious about how the tariff situation is going to affect the price. At this point in my life, I’ve stopped caring about how much things cost. I live comfortably. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, I’m not on expensive medications which require a lot of money. I don’t have kids and I don’t plan on it. And with the current situtation in the country, I’m just purchasing things that make me happy, because goodness knows nothing else will. But I think once the new cosplays arrive, i will suit up again
  • I was pondering taking time off from work to attend Free Comic Book day at my local comics shop. I had planned to do that last year, but I ended up getting COVID and couldn’t go. But if I go to FCBD, I sort of wonder if I could bring my Nagisa kig outfit. It’s not an anime con, though. But I’m anxious to cosplay in public again. I miss it lol.
I’m a loser and a user

I’m a loser and a user

  • Second day of my weekend is usually spent completely at home, so it was a nice day of me just being a homebody and not doing anything
  • I had this weirdo idea earlier this morning that there should be Beatles kigurumi characters and I thought that was a little insane. My brain is a wild, wild place
  • I played a lot of Genshin Impact today, but I don’t think I made a dent in the storyline, which makes sense because the game is like 5 years old. I’m starting to get attached to certain companion characters (Lisa) and now I want to make sure to build out these characters to the best of my ability
  • I made avgolemono soup for the first time in the instant pot, with frozen chicken thighs (from Costco), and a bunch veggies and also a lot of lemon juice. Eggs make the broth surprisingly creamy, and delicious!
  • trying to get my eyes more and more used to contacts every day. I don’t think I’ll ever wear them at work, but I’m getting more confident in using them
  • I’m ready for the weather to get warmer now. I’m getting a little tired of the cold
  • I’m really enjoying the new Daredevil series on Disney+. Matt is just having a horrible little life right now, it’s also hilarious that it’s Frank who has to shake him out of his ennui. Yeah the terrible person got to give the horrible person a pep talk lmao
  • I’m anxiously waiting for my new cosplay to get finished and I’m beyond curious about whether it will get taxed because of the dang tariffs on China

and my brain is readying for going back to work tomorrow

The American Dream is Killing Me (complimentary)

The American Dream is Killing Me (complimentary)

  • Today was the first day of my weekend so it’s traditionally errand day. Went to get a weekly lunch with J (at Moa, our fave Korean spot). I had my usual kalbi lunch special. I don’t know what it is about short ribs that makes them so delicious to me. Though I would like to say that the bit of meat around the bone is my favorite bit. That slight chew and slight fat and all the flavor factor just hits right.
  • Then it was off to Oriental Food Market, where I can get my fix of Filipino food. I’m not a great cook, so I rely on Filipino aunties for this hit of nostalgia.
  • Then Target, which, I know that there’s an active boycott but I also work at a corporation owned by Amazon and I’m not quitting any time soon because I like money, so I don’t think I could participate in a boycott in good faith.
  • I started playing Genshin Impact in earnest today, got as far as the first confrontation with Stormterror. But I already can see the appeal in the diverse cast of characters. Not enough for me to want to cosplay them yet, but it’s getting close.
  • There was a sharp jolt of an earthquake at around 7:45pm today. Just as I was still working on this post! Around 4 on the Richter scale apparently.
  • J made corned beef and cabbage in the instant pot (in honor of St. Patrick’s Day), and unfortunately the meat was a little too tough. I think it didn’t run as long as it should have.
  • My Hitori Gotoh (main character from the anime Bocchi the Rock) figure came in the mail today! I was concerned that there would be an additional tariff or tax because I was importing it directly from a Japanese store, but there was nothing extra to be paid.
  • And that’s my day…so far lol
Los Angeles 2025 Part 1

Los Angeles 2025 Part 1

Monday started with, of course, breakfast. We had checked into the Disneyland Hotel Sunday night, right in the middle of the Super Bowl halftime show. As it is my 50th birthday year, I have decided to splurge on a great many things and do what I want. The current political climate being what it is, who knows if/when a WOC like myself will be able to do what I want when I want it without much consequences.

So one of the things I really wanted to do is stay at the Disneyland Hotel. Jeff and I have previously stayed at the Paradise Pier Hotel (Now the Pixar Place Hotel) and the Grand Californian Hotel. We’d never done the original Disneyland resort hotel until now. And now that I’ve stayed at all 3, I think I definitely prefer the ambience of the original Disneyland Hotel over the other two. It hits the sweet spot between price, location, and amenities. Plus, the world class, world famous Disneyland hospitality from the cast members is a definite plus.

Anyway, I didn’t want to have to worry about food while staying there, so I opted for a club-level room, which means I pay a bit extra to have full access to all the food I want in the exclusive concierge lounge. The area is open all day, from 6:30am to 10pm, and there are all sorts of grab and go items available. Fresh fruit, cold drinks, sodas, even ice cream (the famous Mickey shaped ice cream bars). And around breakfast, lunch, and dinner time, there is a small selection of deli meats, cheeses, pastries, and all sorts of small goodies. It really took the stress out of trying to figure out food while trying to maximize our time at the parks. I’d say it’s definitely worth it.

We started Monday morning in the lounge before 9am. I am not a rope drop person. I will go to the park, hit the rides I want, not pay the extra for Lightning Lane, and be fine. We entered the parks right before 10am. In the span of a few hours we did:

Pirates of the Caribbean
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Indiana Jones Adventure
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Jungle Cruise
Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

I’m not a complete fanatic. I don’t have to do every single ride in the park. I skip Haunted Mansion, Space Mountain, all the other Fantasyland rides. I just have the ones I want to do, plus some of my go-to snacks (like Dole Whip). So I didn’t mind it if I had to wait in a long line. I didn’t want to spend more on getting the “front of line” pass (Lightning Lane).

So my Disneyland day wasn’t even that stressful. I did make a reservation for a restaurant in DCA (the Lamplight Lounge) later that day, so we park-hopped over and enjoyed a nice meal. Lunar New Year is happening at the parks so there are a variety of Asian-inspired food items. I ordered the char siu pork chop, which was delicious. It came with a side of garlic noodles, which was nice (though I wish it had just a bit more of the fish sauce flavor) but the sauce that the pork chop came with was delicious and nicely spicy. I was only a bit disappointed that the famous lobster nachos are no longer available in the Lounge itself. you can only get those at the walk-up bar upstairs now.

We hit a couple more rides in the park (Buzz Lightyear and Runaway Railway) before calling it an early night…

Why do I do this to myself?

Why do I do this to myself?

Ancient cosplay obsession collides with my newest one. It’s been at least a decade since I’d last donned this Doctor Who outfit. So it seemed fitting that I combined the two. I Photoshopped in the TARDIS background. I don’t have one IRL obviously…

or DO I????

no I don’t…

the brainrot is real

the brainrot is real

hello again, blog. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve last written something down, which is mostly because I keep forgetting this thing exists and then I get the renewal reminder and then it’s like…ok…I should write something in here.

I’ve had a pretty interesting couple of months. The start of summer 2024 was rather hard for me, mentally, when there was little hope in the future of this country. I suddenly decided that, fuck it, I would try to make myself happy for once. So I did something impulsive and a little scary.

I bought a mask.

Not just any mask though. A kigurumi mask. Those (sometimes) creepy anime style face masks that make the wearer look like an anime figure come to life.

This is a type of niche cosplay that I’ve been interested in for years but never got up the courage or opportunity to partake in until now. Certain…factors…had to happen before I had the confidence to do this cosplay, and hey, here it is. My kigurumi anime-style cosplay. He’s just a generic semi-custom mask, not a previously existing character. I vaguely based his clothes on Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day, during the American Idiot era.

I’ve come to realize that the vast majority of kigurumi cosplayers, both male and female, have female kig personas. I’ve come to terms with the fact that since my kig is male, he’ll never get as much attention as some of the female kigs I’ve seen. And that’s totally fine! I’m mostly doing this for me, to tickle the part of my brain that loves anime and cosplaying and pretending to be someone else. My love of roleplaying factors in too. I’ve roleplayed so many male characters over the years, i suppose it makes sense that I’d eventually cosplay one too.

Anyway, I know I’ll never garner much attention as my little kig dude, but I’m having fun being him.