i wanna take you to a wasteland i’d like to call my home
Well, today at work sucked to epic proportions. For context, we usually have 3-4 people working the front, and today was only me and one other person until around 2 hours into my shift and I sort of hated it. It was also hilarious because I’d just gotten the good news that our department was actually the highest performing one in the region according to the metrics that the ocmpany has been using. It’s great. Everything is going forward as planned. But we have no people to work the front so i was exhausted and it wasn’t even half-way through my shift.
Like…it’s shit like this that makes me kind of not want to work. Not even working there, but I just don’t want to work. Period. I hate living in late-stage capitalism. I hate that health insurance in the US is tied into having a job. I hate having to deal with and be beholden to other people for money. It just sucks. And I know this is a stupid take but it’s absolutely true. I enjoy the things that money allows me to get of course but i just hate having to actively slowly kill myself in order to enjoy myself.
I hope tomorrow will be better but I don’t think so. And I know I could just as soon quit but i really don’t want to have to go through the stupidity of finding another job unless I absolutely have to. I’m just too tired and old to deal with it all. And now I will have to put on a brave face and not be so depressed and keep on going. Because the alternative is beyond stupid. But the state of the country is so poor, I’m just waiting for the day I get taken away somewhere. I can’t believe America is like that now. That if you’re not a rich white man, you might get punished for not being a rich white man. So I’m expecting that I will suffer even more in the next four years. But whatever. my heart has hardened to the point that I cannot be bothered. I will try to fight, but if not, then I will welcome death because sometimes this life is just so damn hard.