Me, In Real Life

Well, today at work sucked to epic proportions. For context, we usually have 3-4 people working the front, and today was only me and one other person until around 2 hours into my shift and I sort of hated it. It was also hilarious because I’d just gotten the good news that our department was actually the highest performing one in the region according to the metrics that the ocmpany has been using. It’s great. Everything is going forward as planned. But we have no people to work the front so i was exhausted and it wasn’t even half-way through my shift.

Like…it’s shit like this that makes me kind of not want to work. Not even working there, but I just don’t want to work. Period. I hate living in late-stage capitalism. I hate that health insurance in the US is tied into having a job. I hate having to deal with and be beholden to other people for money. It just sucks. And I know this is a stupid take but it’s absolutely true. I enjoy the things that money allows me to get of course but i just hate having to actively slowly kill myself in order to enjoy myself.

I hope tomorrow will be better but I don’t think so. And I know I could just as soon quit but i really don’t want to have to go through the stupidity of finding another job unless I absolutely have to. I’m just too tired and old to deal with it all. And now I will have to put on a brave face and not be so depressed and keep on going. Because the alternative is beyond stupid. But the state of the country is so poor, I’m just waiting for the day I get taken away somewhere. I can’t believe America is like that now. That if you’re not a rich white man, you might get punished for not being a rich white man. So I’m expecting that I will suffer even more in the next four years. But whatever. my heart has hardened to the point that I cannot be bothered. I will try to fight, but if not, then I will welcome death because sometimes this life is just so damn hard.

• cold mornings delight me because i tend to sleep better during them. My regular sleeping hours are usually 1:30am to 9am, but this morning i slept in until nearly 10. What’s weird is that I don’t relaly sleep in on my weekends. I suppose because i would just like to spend my weekends awake and not having to go to work.
• i haven’t suited up in kigurumi in a while. I think I’m just too tired to gather it all up and then climb into the suit, but then again i don’t have a reason to kig right now. i don’t have anything to show off. I’m waiting on new cosplay outfits but they won’t arrive for quite a while. Also they’re coming in from China so I’m really curious about how the tariff situation is going to affect the price. At this point in my life, I’ve stopped caring about how much things cost. I live comfortably. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, I’m not on expensive medications which require a lot of money. I don’t have kids and I don’t plan on it. And with the current situtation in the country, I’m just purchasing things that make me happy, because goodness knows nothing else will. But I think once the new cosplays arrive, i will suit up again
• I was pondering taking time off from work to attend Free Comic Book day at my local comics shop. I had planned to do that last year, but I ended up getting COVID and couldn’t go. But if I go to FCBD, I sort of wonder if I could bring my Nagisa kig outfit. It’s not an anime con, though. But I’m anxious to cosplay in public again. I miss it lol.

• Second day of my weekend is usually spent completely at home, so it was a nice day of me just being a homebody and not doing anything
• I had this weirdo idea earlier this morning that there should be Beatles kigurumi characters and I thought that was a little insane. My brain is a wild, wild place
• I played a lot of Genshin Impact today, but I don’t think I made a dent in the storyline, which makes sense because the game is like 5 years old. I’m starting to get attached to certain companion characters (Lisa) and now I want to make sure to build out these characters to the best of my ability
• I made avgolemono soup for the first time in the instant pot, with frozen chicken thighs (from Costco), and a bunch veggies and also a lot of lemon juice. Eggs make the broth surprisingly creamy, and delicious!
• trying to get my eyes more and more used to contacts every day. I don’t think I’ll ever wear them at work, but I’m getting more confident in using them
• I’m ready for the weather to get warmer now. I’m getting a little tired of the cold
• I’m really enjoying the new Daredevil series on Disney+. Matt is just having a horrible little life right now, it’s also hilarious that it’s Frank who has to shake him out of his ennui. Yeah the terrible person got to give the horrible person a pep talk lmao
• I’m anxiously waiting for my new cosplay to get finished and I’m beyond curious about whether it will get taxed because of the dang tariffs on China

and my brain is readying for going back to work tomorrow

• Today was the first day of my weekend so it’s traditionally errand day. Went to get a weekly lunch with J (at Moa, our fave Korean spot). I had my usual kalbi lunch special. I don’t know what it is about short ribs that makes them so delicious to me. Though I would like to say that the bit of meat around the bone is my favorite bit. That slight chew and slight fat and all the flavor factor just hits right.
• Then it was off to Oriental Food Market, where I can get my fix of Filipino food. I’m not a great cook, so I rely on Filipino aunties for this hit of nostalgia.
• Then Target, which, I know that there’s an active boycott but I also work at a corporation owned by Amazon and I’m not quitting any time soon because I like money, so I don’t think I could participate in a boycott in good faith.
• I started playing Genshin Impact in earnest today, got as far as the first confrontation with Stormterror. But I already can see the appeal in the diverse cast of characters. Not enough for me to want to cosplay them yet, but it’s getting close.
• There was a sharp jolt of an earthquake at around 7:45pm today. Just as I was still working on this post! Around 4 on the Richter scale apparently.
• J made corned beef and cabbage in the instant pot (in honor of St. Patrick’s Day), and unfortunately the meat was a little too tough. I think it didn’t run as long as it should have.
• My Hitori Gotoh (main character from the anime Bocchi the Rock) figure came in the mail today! I was concerned that there would be an additional tariff or tax because I was importing it directly from a Japanese store, but there was nothing extra to be paid.
• And that’s my day…so far lol

I think I need to update this more often lmao